Does Stage Fright Keep You in the Background?

Do your fears keep you in hiding so you blend into the crowd rather than risk standing out? That might feel safe, but it also keeps you from being a success, both personally and professionally.

Fear can be terrifying. We can get into a vicious cycle: afraid of X, then afraid of the anxiety over X, then everything escalating to the point of paralysis.

What if your anxiety could be useful? Crazy thought? Well, it’s not going to magically disappear. You can’t force it. So approach it, question it, learn from it, let it energize you.

Deal with it like an unwelcome guest or someone annoying who keeps talking at you. Treating them poorly just creates bad feelings all around and breaks down any possibility of useful communication.

Deal with it like anxiety messages coming from a good friend. Hopefully, you would be gentle and understanding, have empathy.

Deal with it like friends or family trying to look out for you. Thank them for wanting to keep you safe.

Then suggest doing something to get unstuck. What? Maybe taking a very small step toward the source of fear, to get a better look and see if it’s what you thought it was. Do a reality check.

There’s a way to slowly expand your comfort zone:

1. Listen to your fear and learn all the things it’s telling you: Be careful. Avoid acting. Something bad will happen. You might look like an idiot.
   
   
2. Question it further: What makes you think the situation would be bad? What’s the worst that could happen? What if you’re wrong? What good might come of me stepping out and being seen? How might that change my life? Can I afford to not try? What would I lose out on if I don’t try? What might one small step forward look like? What small step forward would be a bit of a stretch, yet safe? Who might lend encouragement and support?

Try turning your nerves into nerve. Try reframing them as excitement over what you have to share, can accomplish, could become. Try looking for another person who might ask you these same questions if you’d like some help – someone who understands and is unafraid of fear, someone who knows how to help you gently move through it. You can’t go around it or force it to stop. The way is through. That can be a scary journey. There are people who can accompany you to the other side and a more successful life.