Speak Tight

“How long will it take you to make your chickpea salad?” my husband asked.

“About an hour.”

“That long?”

“Well, first I have to stage. Set out all the food, tools, and cutting board. Then I open cans, wash and cut up the vegetables, mix everything together, put it all into a dish and cover it with plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator for a couple of hours. Then I clean up …” By this time, he’d left the kitchen! No response. Did he hear any of that?

55 words. Too much information. Studies say that people remember about half of what is said to them. Probably because so much is padding, unnecessary, uninteresting, irrelevant, not applicable, boring, not asked for, repetitive … Oops. Just stop already!

We often assume we need to cover all bases. Who cares? Did they ask for the details? Just answer the question – concisely. Get to the point. They can ask for more if they want it. I am certainly not happy when I want just a quick answer and get a speech. I want to leave but feel a bit rude. So I tune out.

Later, I realized that I could have answered his questions like this: “Yes, about an hour from staging to cleanup.” 8 words. I could have gotten it all in before he left the room. Next time I tried that. “Ok. Let me know if you need help.” A good response.

It’s good to consider the circumstances and the other people in the conversation. Test the waters. Don’t flood them. We can always give out more information if needed. But if we go on too long, we can lose their attention, and maybe next time, they’ll think they have us pegged and won’t tune in at all.

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