What to Say First

Imagine you’re standing before one or more people and it’s your turn to speak. How do you begin? You do need to let each different audience and circumstance help determine your focus and words. What do they want? But, you can always start the same way.

Attorney Jefferson Fisher teaches his clients to “let their breath be the first word.”

Sounds silly? Try taking 5 seconds to focus on your breathing before you respond to anyone. An inaudible sigh. One imperceptible intake and exhale. This prepares you to be in control of your body, nerves, and voice. Take a moment to consider what to say as you quietly breathe in and out fully.

If you’re before an audience, you have that moment to silently rehearse your first line as you look directly into the eyes of those around you. Then you’re ready to speak it, sounding confident and in control.

If you’re meeting with someone in a social situation, take that pause to breathe and think. Then speak – maybe “Hi, nice to meet you” or “nice to see you again” – and sound relaxed.

If someone is being rude, or angry, or sad - know that silence is an option and can be a powerful response. You don’t have to respond verbally to an insult or someone’s overwhelming emotionalizing. Sometimes just being there for them and listening is helpful.

That pause to breathe can help you do a quick reset if you’re tempted to go on the defensive or attack. You can think those words as you breathe and decide if speaking them would be helpful or hurtful.

Let your breath be the first word.